Why does everyone other than me have a hole-in-one?!

Alex Myers discusses some of the craziest hole-in-one stories of the year, and makes a desperate plea to the golf gods.

Released on 11/29/2016

Transcript

00:00
So another golf season has passed in the lovely Northeast,
00:03
and once again I'm left looking to next year
00:05
to resume my quest for a first hole-in-one.
00:08
That's 34 years, and zero aces.
00:11
What's that? You didn't think I looked that old?
00:13
Aw, bless your heart.
00:15
But seriously, this is a chase that consumes me.
00:18
I'm Alex Myers, and I'm an ace-oholic.
00:22
It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't seem
00:23
like every other golfer already has one.
00:26
But they do.
00:27
A Miss Canada finalist has one.
00:29
My buddy Al, can't break a hundred, has one.
00:31
My two co-workers who sit on either side of me
00:33
at the office both have one.
00:35
Don't think I haven't heard about it.
00:37
Then there are some crazy hole-in-one stories.
00:39
From just this year.
00:41
Some woman made two in one round,
00:43
using her driver!
00:46
Yay.
00:47
Some guy made two in one round,
00:48
and lost both golf balls on his ensuing tee shots.
00:52
Ungrateful bastard.
00:53
I would have that ball framed and hung
00:55
on my mantle place that very night.
00:57
And don't get me started on tour pros.
00:59
Vijay Singh and Martin Kaymer made aces
01:01
by purposely skipping their golf balls
01:03
across the pond at Augusta National 16th.
01:06
And Gary Player, he has 31!
01:09
The latest of which came this year at
01:11
the Masters Par 3 Contest.
01:13
When he was 80!
01:15
When is enough enough?
01:17
Can't the golf gods share the love a little.
01:20
Or do the golf gods even exist?
01:21
I repair an extra ball mark on the green when I see it.
01:24
I usually remember to pull the pin
01:26
if I'm closest to the hole.
01:27
I'm happy to buy the drinks afterwords,
01:29
if it ever happens.
01:31
Where's my good karma?
01:34
And finally, coup de grace happened for me recently
01:36
when a woman made a hole-in-one,
01:38
while playing golf for the first time.
01:41
Congratulations.
01:43
For making me sick.
01:46
(exhales)
01:47
Deep breaths.
01:49
I'm Alex Myers, and I'm an ace-oholic.
01:52
And to those of you in the same boat, hang in there,
01:54
because next year's the year.
01:58
Who am I kidding? It's probably not.
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