The Biggest Sports Turkeys Of 2017
Alex Myers discusses the people -- and teams -- behind some of the most embarrassing sports moments of the past year.
Released on 11/21/2017
So another Thanksgiving is upon us,
which means it's time to load up on Mom's mashed potatoes,
and tune in to another edition of our turkeys of the year.
Our selections are by no means the most heinous act
committed in sports over the past 12 months,
but we're certainly not giving
these guys a full pardon, either.
We start in golf with Grayson Murray.
The controversial PGA Tour rookie
managed to offend the entire PGA Tour,
European Tour and Senior Tour.
Quite a Twitter trifecta.
But there's also Grayson Allen,
the controversial Duke guard,
who took actual shots at just about
everyone on court during the games.
And you can't spell turkey without a K,
as in Coach K, whose indefinite susupension
lasted all of one game.
Turkeys all around.
Speaking of embarrassing group efforts,
how about the Atlanta Falcons?
Who led the Superbowl 28-3
late in the third quarter.
You just can't lose that game,
and for the sake of football fans
everywhere outside of New England,
you can't lose to the freakin' Patriots.
Of course, they're still not nearly as pathetic as
the Cleveland Browns.
Where do we start?
Is is just another dismal season?
The QB sneak from the two yard line
with no timeouts left?
Or the botched trade because of late paperwork?
Calling this franchise a giant dumpster fire
is an insult to competent giant dumpster fires everywhere.
Then there's Skip Bayless.
Pick a tweet.
Moving on, LaVar Ball is the new king of absurd statements.
He said he could beat Michael Jordan one on one,
and he said his son Lonzo was better than Stephen Curry.
He also sells ugly basketball sneakers for $495 a pop.
And if you paid that for those shoes,
you're a turkey, too.
But actually, The Rock may have made
the most ridiculous boast of all.
I'm a big fan, but the dude said
he hit a golf ball 490 yards.
Imagine the outlandish claims he'll make
as a presidential candidate.
Speaking of the President,
look, this is not political.
But President Trump drove a golf cart on a green
a few weeks before a major tournament was played there.
I don't care if he owns the course.
That's still bad.
And so is posting only one golf score
from the entire year for handicap purposes,
when everyone in the country knows
you play at least once a week.
At least he posted a low score.
Sandbagging would be worse.
And lastly, there's Dustin Johnson.
Golf finally had another athletic freak
like Tiger Woods, that it could be proud of.
You know, to get those,
is golf a sport bozos to pipe down.
And then, this big time athlete,
a man who can dunk and do crazy things like this,
managed to fall down a flight of stairs.
On the eve of the Masters, no less.
Anyway, happy Thanksgiving everyone,
and be careful out there.
Especially if you're walking around the house in socks.
(rhythmic goofy rock music)