Kid Rock Continues a Troubling Hole-In-One Trend
Alex Myers discusses a new batch of "feel-good" hole-in-one stories that has him feeling anything but good about not having an ace himself.
Released on 3/11/2019
So another birthday came and went for me over the weekend
and I'm still without a hole-in-one.
I've been playing a lot of golf
for more than two decades now, but not once has my tee shot
on a par three found the bottom of the cup.
Not on the fly, not on a bounce,
not on a ricochet off a tree, or a rake, or a UFO.
I'm certainly not alone in this matter
but I also work at a place where not having a hole-in-one
is like having a hole on your resume.
I have ace-making friends who can't break a hundred,
and at least once a week I hear
about some crazy feel good story involving someone else.
Lately it's been celebrities, and they're the last people
I'm gonna feel good about making a hole-in-one.
In January, it was Larry Fitzgerald making one
while playing with Barack Obama.
And more recently, it was Kid Rock hacking one into the hole
while playing with Jack Nicklaus.
Good for you guys!
And forget about the spoiled PGA Tour pros.
At the Arnold Palmer Invitational,
D.A. Points was disgusted with his tee shot
in Bay Hills par three seven, until it went in,
But these other random hole-in-one tales
are particularly tough to take.
Like a UK woman who made three aces
during her 36 hole club championship last year
or the UK guy who was so frustrated
with how he was hitting his irons that he teed off
with a putter and knocked one in the hole.
Or some Californian woman named Paula making a hole-in-one
in her fifth round ever by using a driver from 118 yards.
Just look at this score card.
Nine, nine, one, nine, nine.
Are you kidding me?
You'd think I'd get used to this kind of stuff
but this years birthday was especially cruel.
An injured Tiger Woods wasn't playing at Bay Hill.
There was freezing rain all day.
I even lost an hour of my big day thanks to Daylight Savings
and then there was the dream I had that night.
A vivid vision of me making my first hole-in-one.
I swear on Tiger's neck and back, this actually happened.
Two of the golf industries most prolific Instagramers
were even there to capture the magical moment
and I posed for more photos than Meghan Markle
at the royal wedding.
Then I woke up and I realized it hadn't actually happened
and then I remembered Larry Fitzgerald and Kid Rock
and freaking Paula.
Happy birthday to me.
Some will say my complaining won't curry any favor
with the golf gods but I've stopped worrying
about the golf gods because they don't exist.
How else can you explain that Eddie Pepperell
wore Jack Nicklaus socks at Arnold Palmer's event
and shot his best round of the week?
Although, he did barely break 80 the next day.
Okay, so just in case the golf gods do exist,
I take it all back.
To all those with holes in one, from the bottom of my heart,