Golf's Biggest Turkeys of 2018
Alex Myers discusses the golf gaffes of the year from stars like Phil Mickelson and Patrick Reed.
Released on 11/20/2018
Thanksgiving is upon us again,
which means two things:
you eating turkeys, and me handing them out,
figuratively that is.
This year, instead of looking at all sports,
I'm sticking to golf tournaments
because I've got a lot of problems with you people.
That's Festivus, nevermind.
Anyway, let's start with Patrick Reed.
And where do we even being with this guy?
Sure, he won the Masters,
but he also got a European tour tour camera crew ejected,
threw most of his Ryder Cup team under the bus,
and even publicly complained
about free tickets to a Boston Red Sox game.
More troubling, he thinks Fenway Park
is a line drive section.
That's not a thing.
But I've got an idea for what you can serve
at next year's Champions Dinner, turkey.
Tony Finau also had a breakout season,
but he still gets a turkey
for suffering a serious injury while celebrating,
AKA pulling a Gramatica.
Like Dustin Johnson falling down some stairs
on the eve of the previous Masters,
Tony didn't help the whole golfers are athletes argument
when he got hurt celebrating an ace
during the Par 3 Contest.
But then, he finished 210 on a dislocated ankle,
so let's give Tony a turkey
and a honorary John Madden turkey leg for his toughness.
I'm not going as easy on this next guy though.
The fan who screamed during a Tiger Woods putt
at the Farmers Insurance Open.
Not only is he a turkey,
but he deserves a lifetime ban
from attending golf tournaments,
and my Festivus Airing of Grievances
will probably start with this bozo.
On the bright side,
fans got better at cheering
for Tiger as the year went on,
even when they went
where they weren't supposed to go.
Moving on, Phil Mickelson gets a turkey
for hitting a moving golf ball, on the green,
during the third round of the US Open,
and then claiming it was some sort of calculated play,
rather than just admitting he got frustrated,
like everyone else
playing Shinnecock Hills that week.
I love you, Phil, but come on.
You just don't do that unless
you're playing mini golf
and you're under the age of five.
Speaking of Phil,
Turner Sports is televising the match between Lefty
and Tiger, but unlike the PGA Championship,
which was broadcasted by the same company,
this will be on pay-per-view, and this Thanksgiving,
that's something we can all be thankful for.
During a random hour of coverage of the PGA,
I counted more commercials shown
than actual golf shots.
Yeah, yeah, you have to fork over $19.95
to watch Tiger/Phil,
but it's worth it to not have
the Maroon 5 song from that one
Jeep commercial stuck in your head.
You know, the one, the.
♪ Can I get a connection ♪
Now it's in my head again.