Retired NFL Player Shawne Merriman Goes Psycho on Unsuspecting Golfer

What happens when you accidentally break someone’s golf clubs? When that someone is 275-lb retired NFL player Shawne Merriman, all bets are off. See what happens when an unsuspecting golfer gets pranked by his buddy and the former San Diego Chargers defensive lineman.

Released on 1/29/2015

Credits

Starring: Shawne Merriman

Twin Oaks Golf Course San Diego, CA www.jcgolf.com

Music:
Nineteen Eighty Five, "What You Need"
Middle Distance Runner, "Man of the People"
Minute Til Midnight, "Vintage Hearts"
Datageist, "Cinematicism"
Minutes Til Midnight, "Symbol, Not Sacrament"
Minute Til Midnight, "Over You"

Transcript

00:01
What'd you do, bro?
00:02
Look at this!
00:03
Damn!
00:04
Who ran over my clubs?
00:05
Why did you flip the switch?
00:08
(electric guitar)
00:09
I'm about to prank my buddies,
00:11
and they have no idea what's about to go down.
00:13
[Toby] A runaway golf cart, broken clubs
00:14
and a 275-pound linebacker.
00:16
Aw, we 'bout to Shank the (beep) of of him.
00:18
[Toby] Our target is Judd.
00:19
He and his buddies are just playing a normal
00:21
round of golf, and they're about to get blindsided.
00:23
Why you over here breaking my things, dude?
00:25
Judd is going to freak out when this goes down.
00:28
Watch out, Judd. You're about to get Shanked.
00:32
(rock music)
00:48
Okay, have Shawne take the call.
00:50
[Agent] Hey, we gotta get you on the phone.
00:51
So why don't you take the call now.
00:52
We'll meet you right over there, it'll be like...
00:54
How long you need me on the phone?
00:56
Two minutes. These guys don't mind waiting two minutes.
01:00
I gotta put him on with a network, just be a second.
01:02
Cue Clyde. Cue Clyde.
01:05
(suspenseful music)
01:11
[Clyde] What's up, guys?
01:13
How's it goin'?
01:14
My name's Clyde, I'm from the cart barn.
01:17
Yeah, they weren't supposed to send out this cart today.
01:20
May have to reset it.
01:21
I actually need both of your signatures if you're
01:23
going to be driving at all, I'm sorry.
01:24
I may have to hit the reset button
01:25
and we'll be good to go. Thank you.
01:28
Sorry, I'm new at this, guys.
01:31
Stand by on the cart.
01:32
Will you hit the switch in the back?
01:34
It's a switch on the right. Just flip it forward
01:36
and I just gotta press a little on the gas.
01:38
I don't see it.
01:39
They're right under here.
01:42
Go cart, go cart, go cart.
01:46
Oh, (beep)!
01:48
(Beep)!
01:49
What'd you do?
01:51
(Beep)!
01:57
Oh my gosh, what'd you do, bro?
01:58
I think I broke my ankle.
02:00
Which- what button did you (beep)?
02:01
I heard a pop.
02:03
Oh, man. I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
02:06
I'm first-aid certified, you're fine.
02:08
Please just give me a second. What the (beep). No.
02:11
Did he run over the clubs? Oh, damn it! Look at- oh!
02:17
Those are Shawne's (beep), damn it. Nice! Look at this!
02:21
Huh? (Beep). Man!
02:23
Hey, sit down.
02:24
You gotta be... dude, Shawne is gonna be pissed.
02:28
He's gonna be pissed at this, and this.
02:30
Have you guys ever seen him tackle someone?
02:33
I'm not even joking.
02:35
He must've pushed the wrong switch!
02:37
You pushed the switch?
02:38
He told me to push the switch on there.
02:40
[Clyde] I told you to push the white switch!
02:42
Shawne, go.
02:43
[Agent] You pushed a switch and then it came at me.
02:46
This is... oh, (beep).
02:49
Shawne, don't- listen...
02:50
We need to have a conversation.
02:51
Look, come over here. Don't listen to these guys.
02:54
Why you limpin'? What the hell happened to my clubs?
02:57
Hey, relax- breathe...
02:59
Dude, what happened? Why you limpin' around?
03:01
I sprained my ankle.
03:02
Who ran over my clubs?
03:06
Hey! Hey, no!
03:08
I'm not playin'. What's goin' on?
03:10
Why you over here breaking my things, dude?
03:12
Listen. Listen. This man brought up a cart.
03:15
He then signed for the cart, and flipped a switch,
03:18
which made the cart come at me, sprain my ankle
03:21
and broke your clubs.
03:22
Why did you flip a switch?
03:23
That's what I was asking him!
03:26
No, just stay away from him. Don't do zen (beep) with me.
03:28
Go over there!
03:31
Can I please help your ankle?
03:33
I need- yes. I need to deal with this guy right now.
03:36
I didn't want to be out here in the first place.
03:37
Don't hurt anybody.
03:38
I have his signature. You know what this says?
03:42
Shall be solely responsible, liable, for any bodily injury
03:44
or claim that I may sustain.
03:45
[Judd] You know what sir, let's go right now.
03:49
[Clyde] Please don't go. Please don't go.
03:51
You want to threaten me right now?
03:52
I have him threatening me, I'm trying
03:54
to check out his (beep) ankle.
03:55
I am first aid certified. This is my (beep) job.
03:58
[Agent] Stop, stop.
03:59
I'm gonna fix this right now for you. Shawne?
04:03
You been Shanked.
04:05
You got Shanked!
04:07
Oh, you mother (beep)!
04:12
Shanked!
04:15
Oh, man.
04:18
It went great. It was everything
04:19
I could possibly hope for.
04:21
My heart was racing, 'cause I just wanted to
04:22
calm Shawne down, I thought he was going to kill somebody.
04:27
We got it pretty good, they were great.
04:28
I've never heard anyone yell as angrily about
04:31
being first aid certified.
04:32
He lost it. It was beautiful.
04:36
I just got Shanked.
04:42
Stop right there, just for a second.
04:45
This is definitely marijuana.
04:46
Could you guys step over there, please?
04:48
We've got three criminals. One's trying to get away.
04:52
Get your hands up! On the ground, hands up!
04:56
If you guys have any Shanked ideas,
04:58
feel free to comment below.
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