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So Dustin Johnson won the 2019 WGC-Mexico Championship
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on the same day as the Academy Awards,
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and it's fitting because, at least for right now,
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Dustin deserves all the golf Oscars.
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Let's start with Best Picture,
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for DJ's dominant performance in Mexico City,
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which also gives him the rare Best Foreign Film double.
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Dustin beat Rory McIlroy by five shots,
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and was ten shots clear of third place.
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Best Actor, that's an obvious one.
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With the win, DJ will take the top spot
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in the official World Golf Ranking back from Justin Rose.
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He also did a pretty good acting job
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convincing that rules official
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to give him a drop during the final round.
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By the way, how toothless are golf's rules?
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Keep in mind the USGA decided
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to limit green books last year,
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and a few months later, Green Book
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wins the actual Oscar for Best Picture!
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The academy just flaunting in the USGA's face.
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Back to DJ, I'm even throwing a Supporting Actress nod
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to Johnson's fiance, Paulina Gretzky,
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who provided her man with a couple, um,
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motivational photos throughout the tournament.
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I think Phil Mickelson also provided Dustin
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with some motivation as well.
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While Johnson is arguably
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the sport's most impressive specimen,
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he's got nothing on Phil's calves.
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Those things are spectacular.
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I see a lot of added leg days in the gym
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One academy award that the unflappable Johnson
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isn't getting, Best Animated Feature.
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Move over, Lucas Glover,
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because that might've been the lamest
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winning fist pump in golf history!
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Seriously, I've gotten more excited
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over getting an extra chicken nugget.
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And finally, I've got DJ as Best Director
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for navigating the tricky treeline Club de Golf Chapultepec.
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Although if there's a weakness in Johnson's golf game,
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it might be hitting punch-outs.
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But you're in luck, DJ,
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because that's the best part of my game.
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So, give me a call some time.