The Worst Things To Hear Right Before You Hit a Shot with SNL's Colin Jost


Starring: Colin Jost and Casey Jost
Featuring: Adam Griffin and Orrin Heru
Written by: Colin Jost and Josh Patten
Directed by: Jared Lapidus
Filmed at Hudson National Golf Club: www.hudsonnational.org
Special thanks to Theron Harvey

Released on 9/10/2015

Credits

Starring: Colin Jost and Casey Jost
Featuring: Adam Griffin and Orrin Heru
Director: Jared Lapidus

Filmed at Hudson National Golf Club: www.hudsonnational.org Special thanks to Theron Harvey

Transcript

00:00
(lilting orchestral music)
00:12
[Black-Shirted Man] You know what was on the other day?
00:14
[Purple-Shirted Man] Jumanji?
00:14
No, no.
00:16
That movie Hook?
00:17
I love the movie Hook.
00:18
You know why it's called Hook?
00:19
I have no idea.
00:20
Captain Hook.
00:21
Oh, wow, Captain Hook?
00:23
Which hand is the hook on?
00:24
Left.
00:25
How do you know?
00:26
'Cause I always think, Hook left.
00:29
Hook left, hook left, hook left.
00:33
Could you stop talking about the movie Hook?
00:35
[Both] Sorry.
00:38
Remember that Blues Traveler song,
00:39
Hook? Hook? Yes, I was just
00:41
thinking about that, yeah. That was funny.
00:42
It's funny you hooked it.
00:44
One time I was in a bunker,
00:45
and I hit so far behind the ball,
00:49
the sand went under the ball, flew up out of the trap,
00:52
and hit this guy in the eyes, blinded him.
00:55
Could you guys please stop talking?
00:57
There's no way you heard us.
00:58
Yeah, we were speaking below whisper, sir.
01:00
I could hear it.
01:01
Okay.
01:02
What about now?
01:03
Yes!
01:04
Well, what about now?
01:06
(Sighs) Yes.
01:12
No.
01:13
[Both] What about now?
01:15
One time, on this hole, I saw someone hit it so far right,
01:19
it went over that road, into that house.
01:23
The ball went into the kitchen, ricocheted around--
01:25
Stop.
01:26
It killed the entire family.
01:27
No way. Yeah, boom, Dad, boom, Mom,
01:30
boom, kids.
01:31
Alive?
01:32
Paralyzed. Ah, good.
01:33
Then died.
01:34
(Groans) I think I heard about that.
01:35
[Black-Shirted Man] Yeah, Callaway Killer.
01:36
It was on the news. That's the Callaway Killer?
01:37
Yeah, that was on the news. That's crazy.
01:39
Whoa! Ah, man.
01:40
That's right at the house.
01:42
It's empty now, so you should be good.
01:45
Backswing.
01:46
Oh, sorry.
01:47
Do you notice how you screwed up, though?
01:50
Putting.
01:52
Putt.
01:53
Ting.
01:54
Putt.
01:56
Ting.
01:57
Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you guys?
01:59
I have a heart murmur.
02:00
I have terrible penmanship.
02:02
He wasn't to use a pen until the fifth grade.
02:04
All pencil.
02:07
[Man] Don't mess up!
02:08
Sorry, that was my ringtone.
02:11
I'm sorry.
02:12
I must have butt-dialed him.
02:13
(chuckles) Whoopsie-days.
02:15
[Man] You suck!
02:16
Ah, that's my ringtone.
02:18
Sorry, I was just calling him back.
02:19
[Man] You suck!
02:20
(liquid bubbling)
02:25
What are you doing?
02:27
Nothing.
02:28
Where did you even get drinks?
02:31
[Both] Tiki cart.
02:33
(honks horn)
02:33
I promise you, we will not slurp
02:36
until after you've finished hitting.
02:39
(drink bubbles)
02:42
(drink bubbles)
02:46
(drink bubbles)
02:48
I really honestly thought you had already hit.
02:51
The last thing we wanna do is interrupt a shot.
02:53
Hey, do you like magic?
02:54
I like that shirt, salmon!
02:56
You're distracting me.
02:57
(golf club strikes ball) (divot lands)
02:59
60 bucks, he knocks it out of the park.
03:07
(wheezes)
03:10
(wheezes)
03:12
(wheezes)
03:14
(wheezes)
03:19
You owe me 60 bucks.
03:21
Hi, I'm Colin Jost.
03:22
And I'm Casey Jost.
03:24
And you're watching GolfDigest.com.
03:26
Make sure to use your mouse
03:27
and click on over to the Subscribe button
03:29
and then use a keyboard and the monitor.
03:32
When's the last time you used a computer?
03:34
In '95.
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